I used to have a nasty voice in my head, a terrible, internal judge. If anyone ever talked to me the way that inner critic did, I would have punched them in the mouth. No matter what I did, it was never quite good enough. Ancient mistakes were filed away to constantly remind me that I was a fake, a loser, stupid, fat and ugly. Anything less than perfection, which was everything I did, was a set up for an inner tirade of self abuse. That mental demon lived with me rent free, feeding on my self esteem like a parasite, creating fear, guilt and shame for much of my life. Until the day I told it to get lost...
Nothing can live in our psychic space without our permission. This is a spiritual law. In some twisted way this inner critic was trying to protect me. It wanted to keep me safe from failure, from embarrassment or rejection. Maybe as a little kid, it actually helped me to survive the craziness I grew up in. But as I matured, the inner critic stayed the same. It wanted to keep me small, miserable and ashamed. If I became my full authentic self, I wouldn't need that inner critic to keep me safe. I could just live. I could be free to be me. Free to take risks, free to fail and pick myself up and just try again. I could be free to succeed.
I remember the day I evicted that inner voice. I was in front of a convenience store in Quincy, MA. I said out loud, "You can't talk to me like that anymore!" I had been doing this really powerful inner child work and I didn't want to be a victim anymore. The voice never came back. That was 1989. You can be free, too. I can show you how.
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